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A feisty 70 year old woman had to call a furnace repairman.
After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor.
"Labor charges!" she exclaimed. "It only took you five minutes."
The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call.
"Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded, and she handed him a rake.
He spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.
Submitted by Ken, Woodsboro, Md.
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The businessman dragged himself home...
... and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.
"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
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about Work, My
Little Sister's Jokes,
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Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian parents.
He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a very nasty mood. When his mother served him prunes, he snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them.
His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you know that the Lord commanded children to honor and obey their parents, and He will punish those who do not."
But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to bed, and the prunes were put in the refrigerator. A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up with great roars and flashes of lightning.
"Ah, wonderful," said Robert's mother,"this will teach him a lesson."
Robert came back down the stairs, went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. From there, just after another flash and roar, the boy's voice was heard saying, "Heck of a fuss to make about a few stupid prunes."
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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Jokes, My Little
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A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,
"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents.
I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station.
After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.
Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.
Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits.
"And this one's even better because it locks."
(OK, think about it... )
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The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.
When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"
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Sayings, My Little
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You Know You Need A New Lawyer When...
During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.
He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
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| Britain's Got More Talent - Download Video
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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Jan 13th Humor Page |
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