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2007
- My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant (12/10)
- The old Indian chief called for the two bravest warriors in the tribe
(12/5)
- A motorway walks into a pub one day (12/3)
- A blonde was mowing her lawn when she accidentally cut off
the tail of her cat... (11/26)
- A man went to a dentist one day for a regular check up (10/29)
- The privilege of naming all the children of the tribe always
fell to the chief (10/26)
- A young man with a slight hearing problem, is in an
accident and his eye is poked out. (10/24)
- A banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat (10/22)
- Many people are unaware that Frank Sinatra was an ecologist (10/15)
- I rear-ended another car this morning. I tell you... (10/3)
- A man has a dog called Mace, which he keeps in the house all the
time... (9/14)
- A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
(9/12)
- Gladys Dunn recently moved into a retirement community in a small
town (9/7)
- A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe ... (8/31)
- I don't usually like these fuzzy heartwarming
stories, but this one is truly interesting... (8/24)
- Old Aunt Cora went to see a doctor about her
troublesome constipation (8/20)
- Troy had finally made it to his doctor's office for a long
overdue appointment (8/8)
- A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city...
(7/30)
- John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business (7/25)
- A man goes into the doctor (7/9)
- A jeweler called the police station to report a robbery (7/7)
- A man enters a barber shop for a shave (6/29)
- Two men were hunting in the woods... (6/11)
- Mr. Jacobson, a miserly businessman, decided to take a week off ...
(5/30)
- A duck walks into an auto hobby shop ... (5/23)
- Tick warning ... (5/16)
- A young woman was in hospital, recovering from major surgery (5/11)
- A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk & Honey...
(5/7)
- Tourists in the Museum of Natural History ... (5/2)
- An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet
(4/27)
- After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight... (4/25)
- A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair ...
(4/20)
- A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he
started from scratch (4/9)
- The farmer's son was returning from the market with
the crate of chicken's his father... (4/6)
- A man spots a farmer standing in the
middle of a huge field... (3/28)
- A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald
eagle (3/26)
- Pretty good groaners ... (3/21)
- A bonified Redneck couple had 9 children (3/14)
- Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things
right (3/12)
- A man is working on the busses in the US collecting tickets (3/9)
- During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and
exclaimed... (2/21)
- A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting... (1/19)
2006
2005
2004
- Maxine: That Grand Old Girl! (12/3)
- Medical Specialties ... (11/22)
- Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item ...
Walmart wine (10/25)
- Asked of Librarians Dept ... (9/15)
- A Midget in Texas went to the doctor ... (8/23)
- Three two-line groaners to get your week going ... (8/16)
- Sven and Ole, who are both from Minnesota,
traveled down to Texas for a vacation. (7/23)
- The high school coaches in Terrebone Parish, Louisiana
went to a coaches' retreat. (7/21)
- John, a local football star, is jogging down the
street when he sees a building on fire. (7/16)
- Two cadets at Colorado's Air Force academy were bragging in
their off time ... (5/24)
- Really, really bad one-line groaners ... (4/30)
- A doctor had a habit of stopping off at a
bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. (4/12)
- Two robins were sitting in a tree. (3/12)
- A noted biologist, who had been studying little green
frogs in a swamp, was stumped. (3/10)
- The divorce lawyer began his examination of a Polish husband ... (3/5)
- Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters ... (3/1)
- The politician went to go out to the local reservation and to get the Native
American vote. (2/23)
- A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners ... (2/13)
- Boudreaux and Thibodeaux worked together and both were laid off ...
(2/11)
- In 1968, Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain man, was drafted by
the army. (2/9)
- The story of Onestone the Indian Brave. (1/26)
- Test your IQ with the question below: There is a
mute who wants to buy a toothbrush ... (1/21)
- A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" (1/19)
- Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the
Midwest ... (1/5)
- Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some
last minute shopping done. (1/1)
2003
2002
- One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee
... (12/23)
- December's Brain Teasers ... (12/13)
- An Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time ... (11/29)
- A guy goes to his doctor and is told by him "I
have some very bad news for you ... (11/25)
- Not too long ago a scientist tried to clone himself ... (11/15)
- One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
(11/13)
- This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if
he had a pet. (10/25)
- Mother Superior calls all the nuns together ... (10/9)
- The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning
against a wall. (10/2)
- Its that time of the year when business cover up the
red ink with mega mergers ... (9/30)
- Mama mole, a papa mole and a baby mole all live in a little mole
hole... (9/27)
- Two doctors opened an office in a small town ... (9/25)
- Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln hired Alan Pinkerton for
protection. (9/18)
- Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released
their great hits ... (9/6)
- I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for
about 5 minutes ... (8/30)
- Brain teasers that will make you groan ... (8/26)
- A friend of mine sent me this advisory on the stock market today.
(8/16)
- A painter called Jock, who was very interested in making
a penny where he could ... (8/7)
- Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner.
(7/31)
- A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit
jump out across the road. (7/17)
- More Brain Twisters (7/15)
- An elephant was drinking out of a pond one day,
when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. (7/8)
- A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he
wanted to marry her right away. (7/1)
- Some facts have just come to light concerning the sinking of the
"Titanic." (6/17)
- 4 Catholic ladies are having coffee together,
discussing how important their children are. (5/5)
- One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the
church needed some extra money ... (5/24)
- John decided life would be much easier if he had a clone. (5/20)
- English will
be the official language of the EU rather than German (5/17)
- Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons ...
(5/6)
- Mitch, a hard-shell Southern Baptist, loved to sneak away to the
race track. (4/26)
- A new teacher was getting to
know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living ... (4/22)
- This month's entries for this year's best one line groaners ... (3/29)
- After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to
the pearly gates.
- Rodney Dangerfield's Best One Liners (2/27)
- The very best ... err worst, of one line groaners (2/11)
- George Bush was walking through an airport ... (2/6)
- A man who was lonely decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
(1/28)
- Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. (1/23)
- A man is dining in a restaurant and there is
a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. (1/14)
- Polish Marines stormed Bloomingdale's Department Store ... (1/7)
- This guy goes into his dentist's office, because
something is wrong with his mouth. (1/2)
2001
- It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. (12/21)
- Best one liner groaners of 2001 (12/4)
- Poland’s worst air disaster ever occurred today ... (11/21)
- A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. (11/16)
- A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a meal. (11/14)
- Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. (11/9)
- Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. (11/2)
- At a hastily called press conference this
morning, the Taliban Minister of Emigration ... (10/29)
- Five terrorists has been operating in the
Harlem area. (10/24)
- A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid (10/19)
- A man goes to an exclusive black tie restaurant for dinner. (10/5)
- How to tell the sex of a fly. (10/1)
- A guy offers to buy a drink for an attractive young woman seated
at a bar. (9/26)
- A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. (9/19)
- A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods
when one of them falls to the ground. (9/7)
- Charlie had a massive heart attack and died. (9/3)
- A city slicker was driving through the country
when he spotted a horse in a field. (8/27)
- John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. (8/22)
- Once upon a time there were three little pigs. (8/13)
- Joe and Bill are working at the sawmill when Bill saws his arm off.
(8/8)
- George W. Bush was asked how he felt about Roe v. Wade. (8/3)
- Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided he
needed a new robe. (8/1)
- Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. (7/30)
- Two nuns were ordered to paint a room in the convent ... (7/18)
- Two robins were sitting in a tree. (7/13)
- A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several
paintings from the Louvre. (7/6)
- Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Mariners base
ball game. (6/29)
- There's this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. (6/13)
- An Amish lady is trotting down the road in
her horse (6/8)
- Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking
female flies. (6/1)
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest. (5/12)
- After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride ...
(5/3)
- Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons ...
(4/27)
- What do you call three rabbits in a row,
hopping backwards simultaneously? (4/20)
- A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......
(4/16)
- Dolly, the famous cloned sheep, was up in
the highlands and fell off one of the cliffs. (4/14)
- A rancher was approached by indian American who
said he could read animal minds (4/12)
- Many are aware that in China
couples are only allowed to have two children. (4/5)
- A person fell ill in a restaurant and
people called out, "Is there a doctor in the house?" (4/2)
- I was in Shab Row on Friday and the Clintons were there,
looking for antiques again. (3/30)
- After his day's sightseeing, an American touring Spain
stopped at a local restaurant. (3/29)
- "Doc," says Morris, "I want to be castrated." (3/29)
- A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon.
(3/28)
- Two little kids are in a hospital,
lying on stretchers next to each .... (3/27)
- Howard had felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it ... (3/22)
- Read each line aloud Dr. Seuss' lost tongue twisters ... (3/22)
- Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, the other
is four. (3/20)
- A man is driving along a highway and sees a
rabbit jump out across the road. (3/19)
- A guy gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to his neighbor.
(3/13)
- A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with
his wife to celebrate her 49th birthday. (3/12)
- An escaped convict, imprisoned
for 1st degree murder (3/9)
- A officer stops a car for traveling
faster than the posted speed limit. (3/8)
- A frog goes into this bank and hops up to the loan officer's desk.
(3/7)
- Once upon a time there lived a king. (3/6)
- A Polish farmer
staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man. (3/2)
- Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. (2/26)
- Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. (2/20)
- Why Men Aren't Secretaries (2/19)
- Frank was a painter who liked to make extra dollars by thinning
his paint ... (2/16)
- This month's top groaner one liners .... (2/15)
- A world famous painter who, in the prime of her
career started losing her eyesight. (2/14)
- Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz
saw ... (2/13)
- Murphy was staggering home with a pint
of booze in his back pocket when he slipped... (2/12)
- A woman from the deepest, most rural part of Alabama ... (2/8)
- God decided he needed a vacation. (2/7)
- There were two guys riding down the road on a motorcycle. (2/6)
- What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?
(2/5)
- An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff,
walked up to a stone pulpit and said... (2/2)
- How to Stop People from Bugging You about Getting Married. (2/1)
- Even more groaner one liners (1/30)
- Groaner one-liners (1/29)
- A minister developed quite a reputation for his sermons ... (1/27)
- A immigrant, who just arrived in this country and could not
speak English ... (1/26)
- Two vampires wanted to go out to eat ... (1/25)
- At our Seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoth, fortified
with Metamucil. (1/23)
- "The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a
people," ... (1/22)
- A dejected Communist Party candidate trudges home after the polls
close. (1/20)
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. (1/19)
- I was driving home from work when, out of
nowhere, a bird slammed into my windshield. (1/18)
- What do you call a guy on the side of the road with
his hand up a horses behind? (1/17)
- The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class. (1/16)
- A man walked into a bar and sat down beside a women. (1/15)
- A sad day! I don't usually pass on news like this ... (1/10)
- A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot.
(1/10)
- A drunk went into a telephone booth and dialed at random ... (1/8)
- A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker are having dinner
... (1/4)
- Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other ...
(1/3)
- A piece of string goes in to a bar... (1/2)
2000
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