Many of you have already set your New Year’s resolutions aside and they have joined the yearly disposal box containing self recriminations such as "I have failed again, I tried but failed miserably; or this was too hard for me this year—maybe next year."

As a parent educator, I wonder how many of your resolutions that went adrift are related to parenting. While parenting three active children, I remember making daily resolutions and daily breaking them Whether you make parenting resolutions on New Year’s or tend to make and break them daily, I would like to suggest a way of keeping those promises you make to your family and self.

First, determine whether the parenting resolution you choose will change the relationship in a positive manner between you and your child; as well as your spouse or mate. Second, pick no more than one challenge to work on at a time. Finally, after feeling secure about that particular issue you may move on to another, but try not to rush yourself.

The following is a suggested resolution list to enhance your parenting. Note: each resolution is first written as a general goal, which will likely set you up for failure. In contrast, the revised version is written as a specific plan to help ensure your success.

• Spend more time with the children. Revised: I will spend one more hour a week with each child in a mutually enjoyable activity.
• Listen more to my children. Revised: I will each day, at a designated place and time, actively listen without commenting for ten minutes to what my child wants to tell me about any subject.
• Lose my temper less with the children. Revised: For two weeks I will select a specific area that often pushes my buttons and faithfully try positive solutions that are ( if possible ) mutually worked out with each child.
• Join a parenting class. Revised: I will call for information or visit a class to help ensure my present needs will be met, followed by a full commitment to the class I decide to join.
• Attend more of the children’s activities. Revised: For one month if I cannot attend all of my children’s activities I will rotate activities; or select an additional one and diligently attend no matter what !
• Be more patient. Revised: Once a month I will select one area of impatience with each child and patiently work out ( if possible ) with the child a positive solution.
• Spoil my children less. Revised: Twice a year I will select one way that I continually indulge my children, talk it over with them (if possible), and replace it with a mutually agreed non-materialistic and loving substitute.
• Keep promises better. Revised: One month at a time I will commit not to make any promises I cannot keep.
• Hit and yell less. Revised: I will for eight weeks increase my knowledge about methods of correcting my children through reading, joining a parent support group, or talking to others about positive discipline; or any combination of these methods.
• Read more to my children. Revised; I will for six weeks increase my reading of one book a week to my children at home and reading one more book when visiting the public library.
• Become a more perfect parent Revised: I will remember each year not to strive for parenting perfection. Instead I will remind myself I continually have strengths as a parent; as well as on-going challenges on the frequently bumpy road of this wondrous and unique journey we call parenting.