|
|
|
| |
| A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory... ... where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
"Wow, this is great," he thought.
It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight - lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
"Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass.
It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots.
They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"
"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it.
We eat that as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full.
"It's fantastic out here in the world!" he told them.
"So, are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked.
"I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the lab. I'm dying for a cigarette."
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of
Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
| How to Dump a Man
Dear ________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.
As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the should an opening become available.
So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the competition.
Check those that apply...
___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!
___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.
___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___You still live with your parents.
___Although I did enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.
___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely,
Submitted by Kelly, Emmitsburg, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes About Men, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
|
|
Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky.
His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport.
"How come?," his nephew asked.
"My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained.
"Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents."
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Cute Kids
Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer...
... from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes.
Later that semester, she asked him how the mixer was working for him.
"Not very good," Terry said. "The potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen."
After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, how long did you cook the potatoes?"
To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?"
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
|
|
An Atom is strolling down the atomic highway when he bumps into an Atom he knows.
He says hello and his friend responds with a weary greeting in return.
Sensing something amiss, he enquires what's wrong.
"I've just lost an Electron," comes the dejected reply.
"Are you sure?" questions the first.
The second confirms: "Yes, I'm Positive..."
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
Jumbo crosswind landing video - Download Video
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Audio/Videos, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
NSW Ambulance Service introduces Trained Dogs to cut costs...
Breathe damn you.......BREATHE ! 
|
|
Return to: Top of Page, List of Photos, My Little Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Oct 31st Humor Page |
|