|
|
|
| |
|
Last year I replaced all the windows
in my house ... ...
with that expensive double-pane
energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who
installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a
whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo, just because I'm blonde doesn't mean
that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast
talking sales guy had told ME last year,.....namely, that in ONE YEAR
these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! (I
told him.) There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I
finally just hung up.... He never called back. Guess I won that stupid
argument. I bet he felt like an idiot.
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Blonde Joke List,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
|
|
Real 'horse' related ad that appeared in
the Equiery ... We are looking
for an experienced barn manager to work full time at a Dressage/Eventing
barn in Frederick, MD. Must be sane, not into gossip or drama, may be
opinionated as long as you keep them to yourself, should have the same
personality today as you did yesterday, must have some social skills as
you may actually have to talk to people, should have at least an
elementary school education, should know that at age 20 you are not an
"expert" at anything, must actually get off your cell phone and do some
work while here, should be able to read and understand what the "No
Smoking Around the Barn" sign means without explanation, and finally,
you should know your way around a horse...at least which is the front
end vs. the hind end. I know this is a tall order, but I am hoping there
is a "normal" person out there ... somewhere...who wants a job working
with horse. Please call if interested ...
Submitted by Jamie, Frederick, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page,
List of Horse Jokes,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
A Kentucky couple, both bona fide
rednecks, had 9 children.
They went to the doctor to see about
getting the husband "fixed." The doctor gladly started the required
procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision.
Why after nine children, would they choose to do this?
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out
of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and
they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because
neither them could speak Spanish.
Submitted by Bill, Gettysburg, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Groaner Joke List,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Mary and her husband Jim had a dog
named 'Lucky.'
Lucky was a real character.
Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would
warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would
help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would
forget and something would come up missing.
Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the
basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other
favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was
very particular that his toys stay in the box.
It happened that Mary found out she had breast
cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in
fact, she was just sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double
mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders.
The night before she was to go to the hospital
she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to
Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog
through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He
won't understand that I didn't want to leave him. The thought made her
sadder than thinking of her own death.
The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than
her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two
weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little
dog just drooped, whining and miserable.
Finally the day came for Mary to leave the
hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even
make it up the steps to her bedroom.
Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and
left her to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her
when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she
dozed.
When Mary woke for a second she couldn't
understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt
heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized
the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure
Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after
trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite
things in life. He had covered her with his love.
Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky
began living again, walking further and further together every day.
It's been 12 years now and Mary is still
cancer-free. Lucky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his
toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.
Remember....live every day to the fullest. Each
minute is a blessing from God.
And never forget....the people who make a
difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the
most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.
Submitted by Mary Jo, Emmitsburg, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List
of Heart Warming Stories, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
More amazing sidewalk
drawings...
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Photos,
My Little Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
August 4th Humor Page
|
|