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A couple was celebrating their
golden wedding anniversary ...
... . Their domestic tranquility had long
been the talk of the town, "What a peaceful and loving couple."
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring
as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,"
explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip
down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone
too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said,
'That's once.'
We proceeded a little further and the
mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's
twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule
stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from
her purse and shot the mule dead.
I started an angry protest over her
treatment of the mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said,
'That's once.'
And we lived happily ever after."
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, MD.
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Jokes About Marriage, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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Real messages seen on church
billboards ...
- CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR
MEMBERS ONLY Trespassers will be baptized!
- "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know
Peace."
- "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
- "Try our Sundays. They are better than
Baskin Robbins."
- "Searching for a new look? Have your
faith lifted here!"
- An ad for one Church has a picture of
two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments
are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast
relief, take two tablets."
- When the restaurant next to another
Church put out a big sign with red letters that said,
- "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated
with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
- "People are like tea bags -- you have
to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."
- "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible
daily."
- "How will you spend eternity - Smoking
or Nonsmoking?"
- "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
- "Come work for the Lord. The work is
hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement
benefits are out of this world."
- "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction
in the wages of sin."
- "Do not wait for the hearse to take you
to church."
- "If you're headed in the wrong
direction, God allows U-turns."
- "If you don't like the way you were
born, try being born again."
- "Looking at the way some people live,
they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
- "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is
missing?"(U R)
- "In the dark? Follow the Son."
- "Running low on faith? Step in for a
fill-up."
- "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep
Talk to the Shepherd."
Submitted by Pat, Blue Lake, Va,
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Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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Things you don't see
very often ... take 2
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July
16th Humor Page
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