Why Airplanes Are Easier to
Live with than Women:
- Airplanes usually kill you quickly
whereas a woman takes her time.
- Airplanes can be turned on by a flick
of a switch.
- Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight
inspection.
- Airplanes come with a manual to explain
their operation.
- Airplanes have strict weight and
balance limitations.
- Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
- Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the
same time.
- Airplanes don't mind if you look at
other airplanes.
- Airplanes don't mind if you buy
airplane magazines.
- Airplanes expect to be tied down.
- Airplanes don't comment on your
piloting skills.
- Airplanes aren't pregnant when they're
late.
- Airplanes don't whine unless something
is really wrong.
However, just like women, airplanes are
expensive to operate and it usually means trouble if they suddenly
go quiet.
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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Totally Useless Facts, Take 8
- The average person's
left hand does 56% of the typing.
- The Bible does not say there were three
wise men; it only says there were three gifts.
- The microwave was invented after a
researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in
his pocket.
- The sentence: "The quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
- The winter of 1932 was so cold that
Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
- The words 'race car,' 'kayak' and
'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or
right to left (palindromes).
- There are 293 ways to make change for a
dollar.
- There are more chickens than people in
the world.
- There are only four words in the
English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous,
stupendous, and hazardous.
- There are two words in the English
language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and
"facetious."
- There's no Betty Rubble in the
Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
- Tigers have striped skin, not just
striped fur.
- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can
be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
- Winston Churchill was born in a ladies'
room during a dance.
- Women blink nearly twice as much as
men.
- Your stomach has to produce a new layer
of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
... now you know everything!
Submitted by Don, Middletown, Md.
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Girl Potato and Boy Potato had
eyes for each other, and finally they got married ...
...
and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.' Of course,
they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the
facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting
half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad
name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of
Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the
sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand
she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not
to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs.
Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from
Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries.
And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she
wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight
and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon
Gold's, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who
advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U.
(that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really
be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam
came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very
upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw
because he's just ....
are you ready?
... A common tater !!
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This years top cute pet pictures ... take 4 ... OK ... Say that
again ...
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August
27th Humor Page
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