You Know You're From Maryland When ...
- You know more than 10 people who own
boats and they all park them at the same marina in Annapolis
- 1 hour is an easy commute to work
- You have more than three recipies for
- French fries just don't taste right
without Old Bay
- There are more than two crab places in
- Even your high school cafeteria made
- You got your first lacrosse stick
before you were six years old
- You call all turtles "terrapins"
- You refer to your state as "Merlind"
- Your mother shops at Hecht's
- You still call Six Flags America
"Adventure World", or even >"Wild World"
- You can tell the difference between the
smells of septic and marsh
- You not only know how to eat hard crabs
but you also know how to catch them, >cook them and tell the
males from the females.
- You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a
strange name for a body of water.
- You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is
called "Little San Francisco."
- M R Ducks makes perfect sense. So does
C M Wangs.
- You think Salisbury is a big city.
- You think of dumplings as wet slippery
squares of boiled dough
- You and your boss take off of work when
the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.
- You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant
title and not a place to get an ice cream.
- "Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel
shirt and Timberlands.
- You still root for the Orioles even
when they suck
- You'll never understand why tourists
come to DC.
- When in Florida, you can only laugh
when you see signs saying
- "Real Maryland Blue Crab Cakes!"
- You color with "Crowns", take a "Share"
with "Wooter" and think the president lives in "Warshenton."
- You know the difference between Glen
Burnie ghetto and Catonsville ghetto.
- Your whole family lives within a 200
mile radius of your town.
- At least one man in your family is a
- You plan for "The Festival" a year in
- During the summer, you spend more time
in Ocean City than at home
- Your radio dial is stuck on 99.1
- You actually get these jokes and pass
them on to other friends from Maryland.
Submitted by Dick Williamsport, Md.
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List of You Know You're From,
Little Sister's Jokes,
A man, his wife and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy
While they were there
the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can
have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the
Holy Land for $150.00."
The man thought about it and told him he
would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend
$5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful
to be buried here and spend only $150.00?"
The man replied, "A man died here 2000
years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the
I just can't take that chance."
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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Jokes About Marriage, My Little
Two blonde pilots are trying to
land an airplane.
They start descending and as they
touch the ground the one blonde screams to the other blonde,
"Bambi, pull up, the runaway is ending!"
She swiftly gets the plane back
up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground,
the first blonde screams again, "Get the plane up, Bambi, the
runaway is ending!"
The second blonde swiftly gets
the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start
descending again. This goes on again and again...
During their fourth descent the
second pilot says, "This is so dumb, Candi, they build this huge
and expensive airport but with such a short runaway."
"I know," answers Candi, "But
look how wide they made it!"
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