Sister Mary Katherine entered the
Monastery of Silence.
The Priest said:, -"Sister, this
is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like,
but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."
Sister Mary Katherine lived in
the monastery for 5 years before the priest said to her:, -"Sister
Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two
Sister Mary Katherine said:,
"I'm sorry to hear that," the
Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."
After another 5 years, Sister
Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. "You may say another two
words, Sister Mary Katherine."
"Cold food, "said Sister Mary
Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be
better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the
monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his
office. "You may say two words today."
"I quit," said Sister Mary
"It's probably best", said the
Priest, "You've done nothing but bitch since you got here."
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Jokes, My Little
You know you're from Pennsylvania if
... (Part 2)
- You have more miles on your
snow blower than your car.
- You still keep kitty litter,
starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if
you live in the South.
- Driving is always better in
winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is
tube socks and a flannel nightie.
- You think a typical vacation
is two weeks on the front stoop.
- School closings due to snow
take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just
about every town has its own school district.
- When someone says 1972, you
think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."
- As a kid you built snow forts
and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
- "Youse guys" is a perfectly
acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
- You know how to respond to the
questions "Djeetyet?" (Did you eat yet?) and "Wid o widout?"
(With or without onions?)
- You can say the correct
pronunciation of LANK-is-ter instead of the mispronounced
Laan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
- You know how to pronounce
Narberth, Bryn Mawr, Bryn Athyn, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd,
Conshohocken, and Monongahela.
- You prefer Hershey's Chocolate
- You call Sloppy Joes
- You think Medium Rare equals
- You can stop along the road to
buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
- You buy your beer and soda
only by the case.
- You say things like, "Outen
the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for
- You think the roads in any
other state are smooth.
- You consider Pittsburgh to be
"out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the
- You know that Yuengling is
pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium
beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).
- You have the Rolling Rock
bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we
tender this premium beer for your enjoyment."
- You refer to something as "a
whole nother," as in "That's a whole nother issue."
- The local paper covers
National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires
six pages for sports.
- The trunk of your car doubles
as a deep freezer.
- You know the four seasons:
Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
Bill, Narberth Pa.
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List of You Know Your From,
Little Sister's Jokes,
A fireman is working on the engine outside
the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
... in a little red wagon with little ladders
hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the wagon tied to a
dog and a cat. The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "That
sure is a nice fire truck," the fireman says with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl says. The fireman looks a
little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's
collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," The fireman
says: "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if
you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think he
could pull more."
The little girl replied: "You're probably
right, sir, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Submitted by Patty, Ringos NJ
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Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
Need we say anything
23rd Humor Page