I would say that my love for Precious is based on her being an adorable little creature. I admire her because she is intelligent and fascinates me with her feline character. I enjoy seeing her and listening to her purr. Examining my own idea about love for this cat – I note that my description of love is based on my own level of satisfaction from having Precious as my pet. She gratifies me by these characteristics…so I say I love her – as a cat mind you!

On the other hand, I show my love for Precious by providing what she needs. I want her to be healthy, well fed, and live in an enjoyable environment. Not to take this too far, but I think Precious loves me because I provide her all these things. However, not unlike a human being, Miss Precious could be drawn away by the love of another if they were to offer her more delicious treats or more affection or let her outside to eat the birds she so admires from my window… So we can see how quickly love’s bond can get out of the bag!

True love must have deeper underpinnings, and this is what we need to learn about in order that our human love is distinguished from mere animistic, eros, sensual, or need-based love. In a Christ centered relationship, pleasure in love should follow after friendship and commitment. From a Biblical point of view, we know of brotherly love--this is Phileo, love based on fondness, likeability, love shared in a bond of friendship. Old Testament examples are: David and Jonathan, or from the New Testament: Peter, James and John. The men in these examples shared a bond of friendship and comradery. Certainly, phileo love is the path towards a healthy, lasting relationship. We want to be with someone with whom we enjoy good company and mutual interests.

The third kind of love comes into being when we commit ourselves to remain in a true love relationship. This is agape love, a love that embraces costly commitment, or a sacrificial element. To practice agape love is to place substance in and a seal over the love relationship. The Christian faith teaches that in holy marriage, the man and the woman pledge to love and to cherish one another through all phases of life. They vow before Almighty God to make a lasting covenant of service and caring toward one another – honoring one another equally.

The couple legally seals their vows by the licensure of the State. Agape love has weight, it stands for valuing the other for the true person who they are, not just their beauty, wealth, or possessions. Agape love esteems the other with concern for their welfare in all areas of life. Agape love manifests generous concern for the other. Agape love is costly; it embraces faithfulness to remain with the other "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live."

This kind of Love means it when we say, "I will not abandon you." Ruth, the Moabites, told her mother-in-law, Naomi, "Wherever you go, I will go" (Ruth 1:16)—she committed herself to remain with Naomi, no matter the dangers, whatever the future held—she gave herself to this relationship. Agape love stands for devotedness, a kindly concern and generosity toward the other. This is the kind of love God demonstrates through his Son, Jesus.

We catch a glimpse of God is Love when we hear the words from Isaiah directed to Israel, "Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you". Isn’t this a beautiful image of committed love? The idea expressed is one of mercy, compassion, tenderness, gentleness, and foundational reliability. This is the nature of God – to love us.

For the past 17 years I have had the privilege to preside over dozens of couples weddings. I like to find out how they met, what they like to do together and how they work on resolving conflicts. The part about resolving conflicts can tell a lot about how strong their love is. Can you disagree with your spouse and still love them? It requires maturity to love someone with whom we may occasionally disagree. It goes back to valuing and esteeming one other for the person God has made us to be. In true love, individuality ought to be honored and cherished. On the other hand, true love is gentle, not overbearing—a couple, in Love, ought to be merging together, not looking for wedges of separation. If you’re in a relationship where you or your partner must always be right – this can’t be love.

Love is gentle, kind, does not keep records of wrongs—true Love embraces understanding and forgiveness. Here’s where we must fall back to our Lord Christ’s example. Jesus showed us true love when he reached out to touch the lives of many who were considered outcasts, untouchables or worse—sinners or enemies. Jesus love included everyone. He showed compassion and caring, as when he stopped to minister to those who cried out for mercy, for healing or vision to be restored. He was about his Father’s Love business, but he was not so busy that he didn’t have time to bless the little children or heal Simon Peter’s mother in law.

If you have failed in love, don’t give up on love. For every day we are given a new chance to love others around us by sharing encouragement or just being gentle in an increasingly harsh world. Say I love you more often, or try it for the first time. Love’s lessons are never ending. Some of us have been great lovers, but we still have a long way to go.

I’ve been learning my lessons too—love is realized and recognized in the small things we do. My wife, Sandy, has cancer. It’s been heartbreaking watching her go through enumerable chemotherapy treatments. Her once-fit body is now weak and I must help her dress, undress, use the potty and everything in between. I said to her a few weeks ago, "Babe, this is the new making love," as I helped her put on socks that were too small for swollen feet and carefully pulled her up from the hospital bed while trying not to crack another brittle vertebrae. Love is tangible when it’s practiced in the ecstasy of youth and the crucible of illness.

Love is sensual when it’s given at all times, not just when we have fitness of mind or body, but giving ourselves to each other in complete surrender when we’re sick with worry, angry and frustrated by the things we cannot control. Remaining together through it all…this is living in true Love. God is Love, because he gave himself for us when we were hard-hearted, self-centered, downright cruel and unappreciative of those around us. But we can now know Love, because we have seen and heard and witnessed Jesus love for us and all people.

We can love because we are loved by the true son of God who died for our lack of love and rose that we would be resurrected--by Love. Let us love one another—for when we do, we show that God, who is love is living in us. God bless you!