Change doesn’t have to be hard

Jefferson Breland

(3/2022) Spring is upon us. It is a time of change. It is all around us. Seeds are sprouting after months of waiting for the warmth and light of the Sun to reach the levels necessary for them to emerge. Birds are returning from their Winter homes. Animals are preparing to

do what many animals do in the Spring. The possibilities of life are emerging in the Springtime after a Winter’s slumber. In the human realm, these possibilities are sometimes planted early in January as New Year’s resolutions.

I would like to see a show of hands of people who made resolutions this year?

Now, I would like to see a show of hands of who has NOT (no judgment here) kept any or all of those resolutions. Now, who of you among us are still honoring all of your resolutions? Okay, good on you. You can leave. The rest of us, stay, let’s talk.

Resolutions are a great idea… in theory. In my experience (of my own declarations of intent and those that have been shared with me by friends, family, and patients) resolutions tend to be grand gestures of transformation, proclamations of self-betterment, and major shifts of behavior that are made without a real foundation or design (perhaps even the real intention) to see them through the full 365 days of the year.

Quite frankly, I find resolving to change a part of our life in such a Big way such as losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more, sleeping more, being more financially aware, learning a new skill, spending more time with friends and family, etc., puts too much pressure on oneself and can be a part of a cycle of disappointment, which may even reinforce the behavior one is attempting to shift when one doesn't continue with them.

These Big shifts may not seem like "capital B" big shifts. I think many of them are BIG. I say BIG because how we have been living, eating, blobbing, sleeping, spending, learning, relating to others, etc. have been serving us somehow. These reasons are often invisible to us. And we wouldn’t be doing them, especially if they are not "good" for us without some benefit, some how.

I am not a therapist, so I will not go deeper into the psychology of the above paragraph. And I have enough common sense to understand that I don’t need to know the "why" of doing things that aren’t "good" for me. I don’t even need to know why they aren’t "good" for me. It could be my intuition informing my desire to change. I simply need to know I want to change.

The key word here is change. Any change, no matter how simple or complicated has challenges on several fronts.

These can be "environmental." The grocery stores in my area may not sells the food I want to start eating. I may not have a car to drive to a gym. I may have noisy neighbors or roommates or spouse/partner who snores that effects my sleep. I may not have the money for a gym membership or yoga classes. My friends and family might not want me to change. These are just a few examples of potential 'external' barriers to begin change or keep my desired shifts going.

There are also ‘internal' challenges to change.

Emotions can have a role. The fear of change is a real challenge. Here are a few examples: "Who am I if I do things differently than I have always done them?" "How will people relate to me if I look different or behave differently?" "Who am I if I discover I can do what I want? How else have I been limiting myself?"

We also have stories about ourselves and past events. "I am a nervous eater." "I am not athletic." "No one in my family is musical." "I am clumsy." "I come from a long line of overweight people." "I am not a good student, I can’t learn."

Both the stories we tell and the emotions we have about ourselves and the world around us are based on beliefs. Some of them come from our experience, others come from what other people say to us. We learned them as "truths." It is just the way it is.

These affect what we think is possible and effect the way we move in the world. These thoughts and behaviors become habitual patterns in our lives that then become invisible to us, unless we examine them from time to time. Is this belief true? Really true? What changes when I shift that thought? How would I feel if I didn’t have a second helping at dinner? What if I allowed myself to feel okay when I make mistakes? Will the world come to an end?

In the presence of our habitual behaviors and thinking patterns, our brains produce a specific set of chemicals called neurotransmitters. Over time, our bodies become accustomed to the presence of these neurotransmitters. Then, when we change our behaviors or thoughts, our brains produce a different combination of neurotransmitters and our bodies respond to this new combination of chemicals and say, "Hey! These are NOT what I am used to. Something must be wrong." So then, the body responds with symptoms like headaches, stomach pain, fatigue, nausea, light-headedness, and dizziness in an attempt to create the more familiar neurotransmitter cocktail. Our minds may then conspire with the body’s protests and convince us to go back to the old ways of doing and thinking.

The trick here is to stay with the discomfort (in a safe way). Here we can use our minds to trick our bodies and minds. The discomfort will go away as the body becomes accustomed to the new behaviors and thoughts.

This is why I believe if we want to make changes in our life it is best to make small, sustainable shifts. If you want to begin exercising, start by walking, not running. It is tough to put the shoes on and get out the door if you have overdone it the day before.

If you want to reduce sugar intake, allow yourself to have a little bit one day a week.

If you want to learn to play the piano, begin to practice only 15 minutes a day and increase the time gradually as you feel more comfortable at the keyboard. Marin Alsop, a conductor and former artistic director of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra suggests practicing no more than 45 minutes a day in order to begin to develop one’s skill and continue to feel enthusiastic about learning an instrument.

Marin’s advice points to the idea of designing change so that it remains fresh and exciting. When the new way of being or doing seems like ‘work’ we are less likely to continue. If we can instill a sense of fun or play into even the most challenging of resolutions, we might just hang in there a little longer.

Change can be hard and it doesn’t have to be a knock-down-drag-out struggle. Spring, near as I can tell, always follows winter. Is it always a smooth transition?

Maybe, maybe not. That depends on the story you tell about it.

Jefferson Breland is a board-certified acupuncturists licensed in Pennsylvania
 and Maryland with offices in Gettysburg and Towson, respectively.
He can be reached at 410-336-5876.

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