The acquaintance of a cat

Julianna Gorduyn

(6/2021) I do not know what perfect affection is, perfection, or even true love. Whatever defines these terms is not for certain. All one can do to define these terms is by living them or enduring the nature of them. For me, I am defining them through the acquaintance of a cat. Things are not simple in this universe. From my experience definitions are things or maybe even feelings. For me perfection, true love, and pure affection is my cat, Jar Jar Binks. He makes me feel and see all three of these things that people have confliction over. These answers to these definitions are so simple to me. Answers are in the little things. These little things hold answers, and these answers hold magic.

There are things in my life that I vaguely remember; things like my childhood. But specific parts are seared into my brain. For example, a specific, crispy October evening I was introduced to my first true love. I was around seven years old and I had just arrived home after completing a vicious night at my karate class. My mother was sitting in the dimly lit living room watching American Idol. In her hands she was holding a puny black and white ball no larger than my palm. She had him flipped upside down and he was purring, kneading, and grasping a small warm bottle between his paws. I fell in love instantaneously.

My mother planned on taking Binks to the pound since he would add another food bill to our already growing family of fluff. She could not say no to me for Binks had already chosen me. He was mine and I was his. Binks nursed and grew we did everything together. I bought him a small stroller and I would wheel him around all over the house. He has not left my side for the past twelve years and two moving trips. To me he was not a kitten a pastor found under his house he is part of my soul. Binks is absolutely magical.

During that duration of time in life, my attachment to Star Wars began to form. At first, maybe Binks from Hocus Pocus would fit him sufficiently, but it needed to fit me. As a child I dreamt living part of my life as a Jedi. I enjoyed Jar Jar Binks in Episodes I-III, and Binks just fit him like a shoe. In the prequels Jar Jar Binks appears to the crowd as clumsy and annoying. If you are like me, God forbid, and study Star Wars further in depth you will notice pieces of truth leading to Jar Jar Binks being the ultimate Sith Lord. George Lucas even states that, "Jar Jar is the key to all of this". I would love to go in depth on the factual portion, but no rabbit trails today. My Binks shares the same attributes as the controversial Jar Jar of the Star Wars universe.

On the big screen Jar Jar is clumsy, unwanted, faulty, and annoying in general. My Binks also shares these same traits. Like the Jar Jar that belongs to the Star Wars universe, my Binks is also kind, fiercely loyal, helpful, and courageous. Both of these beings live to keep who they love safe and uphold thier loyalty. No matter what they do they keep their promise to serve and stand by your side for the rest of their lives; despite being disliked by others sometimes. My Binks sees me as his home and safe space after taking him in. Both were abandoned and their lives were saved. My Binks chooses to serve and love me until his last breath. Even though Jar Jar was supposed to be the Sith Lord in the prequels--rather than Count Dooku—he still chose to keep his promise to Qui-Gon Ginn despite Ginns death. Jar Jar pledged and served Padme just like my Binks serves me.

I named him Jar Jar Binks because they share the same honor. Both of these characters in my life make things magical. My Binks reminds me of Star Wars, and Star Wars reminds me of easier days and lighter breaths. Even as Binks lies here in my lap he creates a nostalgic air, and there is an intense love he creates inside of me. Binks has never had a dull day nor does he know what it is like to give nothing but his best. He always gives everything to me even when I know things are hard on him. He is smooth and silky. As he grows older his belly grows rounder. When he runs his belly drags on the ground and the fur around his ears grows patchy. Sometimes he drools when he rubs on you, and his left canine is chipped. But despite his dents and big belly, his soul is full of life and love.

Every night Binks crawls into my lap to greet me from either a good or bad day. Either way he greets, it is with perfect affection. He kneads and purrs in my lap when my day is relentless with stress and agony. When he is fast asleep, he lies next to me and holds my face and shoulder. He purrs and lies in my lap when my day is full of joy and satisfaction. He lies in my lap seeping every emotion like it is his own whether I want him to or not. He does not know what it is like to not have affection. He is selfless and hopeful; something humanity has forgotten about.

Every day he rubs up against me and meows asking for things he knows I can give. He asks for them so perfectly and so gracefully. If I sit down for even a second, he makes his way into my lap where he knows he belongs. He is always by my side and never leaves. When he is sad, hungry, or mad he purrs. He is my definition of perfect. He knows nothing of evil, nor good. He exists for the sentimental reason to lie in my lap. Humans have a definition of good and bad. Binks knows nothing but longsuffering and faithfulness. A perfection humans have suppressed.

Lastly, every second he is in my lap he makes me feel wanted. He sits up on my lap and hugs my neck and kisses my face. He shows me that no matter the waves or earthquake he is mine. He makes everything feel so simple and nostalgic. He is true love. No matter me pushing him aside when I am carried away in frustration he continues to come back. In my presence, every second is about me. He is loyal and he is healing. Humans have abandoned these things in the spectrum of true love.

In conclusion, there is nothing better than Binks sitting in my lap every night teaching me what perfect affection is. Every day he reminds me I am loved perfectly and purely. Every second, including now while I write this, he lies in my lap so I do not feel invisible. All I feel is true love. The feeling he gives me is pure magic. It is so simple yet so deep. Also, small but intense. He makes me feel like a child again. I promise you there is nothing more magical or most pure in this world than the acquaintance of a cat.