Growin' old(er)

Jack Deatherage

(6/2024) I was five, maybe six years old when Grandfather Cool come storming 'round the farm's Quonset hut where the Oliver tractor slept. Shaking the hoe he always had in hand when outside the house he barked, "You boys stealing my watermelons!" Lessons were learned that day- one being the hoe could be used to punish young watermelon thieves as well as for chopping weeds and hilling corn. Fortunately I managed to outrun Grandfather and only heard of the hoe administering a whoopin' from my older cousin Ron who had felt the wooden wallop more than once.

The foundation of another lesson was laid that day, but it took me sixty-some years to get it. The hoe also served as a cane. Grandfather was sixty-nine years old when I was five. Now that I'm close to reaching my seventieth birthday I understand why he wasn't able to run me down so long ago. The man was in pain and needed the hoe to get around the farm on foot- a thing I'm starting to consider myself as I stagger about the community garden's uneven sod. Various joints occasionally send bolts of pain shooting through me causing unexpected listing leeward or windward, whichever ways they be. Yep. The lesson is learned. Old age ain't for sissies.

Another lesson the old man taught me, indirectly, was to cut back on the amount of over-the-counter (OTC) pain meds I take daily. Because I was working on drinking myself to death when Grandfather was working his own way to the grave, via old age, I was unaware that he'd swallowed enough of those pills to put himself in the hospital with the damage the drugs had done to him.

Alcohol was my favorite pain relieving drug until recently, especially after I learned how easy and inexpensive it is to create it, and how marvelously flavored it can be! However, as with any drug I'm aware of, it has its drawbacks. As far as I know the alcoholic neuropathy that makes me think my toes are being cooked over a slow fire is permanent- the brain damage likely is as well.

I probably could ask Doc Thomas for gabapentin, but the list of possible side-effects reminds me that using another drug to alleviate the effects of the first drug is the path to greater damage than I'm currently dealing with. Besides, doctor visits are expensive and prescribed drugs usually more so. I save doctor visits for those ailments I can't treat myself. Which has led me to a lesson Mom tried to teach me- herbal supplements, diet and exercise.

Bein's I'm lazy, exercise only happens in the community garden. As for diet- I eat what I like even though I know favored foods hurt me. That leaves supplements, which I used to scoff at until it finally sunk through the thick bone that protects my tiny brain- a lot of pharmaceuticals were originally derived from plants! I think the kicker was a doctor telling Uncle Don that herbs couldn't hurt him and might help as he was struggling to survive a cancer that eventually sent him on to the next turn of The Wheel. I hope that doctor has since read "From Chocolate To Morphine: Everything You Need to Know About Mind-Altering Drugs" by Winifred Rosen and Andrew T. Weil M.D., "Handbook Of Poisonous And Injurious Plants" by Lewis Nelson and/or "Medical Toxicology Of Natural Substances foods, fungi, medicinal herbs, plants, and venomous animals" by Donald G. Barceloux. The latter book is proving difficult to acquire, not that I'm likely to understand it anyhow.

Currently I'm treating two ailments that typically accompany aging with herbal supplements- saw palmetto and ginkgo biloba. However, since surviving the Wuhan flu I've noticed the ginkgo seems unable to keep all the brain fog at bay, so I've added Ashwagandha Root (Withania somnifera), Korean Ginseng (Panax Ginseng) and Astragalus Root Liquid Extract to my daily regime. I'll trial those herbs for a month and add various "grasses" to the mix as they are also supposed to aid in brain function. (I'm not sure I'll like having a functioning brain. The DW isn't sure that would be a good thing either.)

Moving on to pain. OTC pain meds come with their own risks if used daily. Risks much worse than the pain I'm experiencing. I haven't found an effective herbal that eases my discomforts so I'm pondering the causes of the pain- mostly stiff joint issues and arthritis (gout). While there appear to be supplements that might aid in reducing some of the pain from those issues it appears that diet and exercise will do most of the work.

Diet is going to have to change before exercise can begin. The joints simply ache too much for more than fiddling around in the community garden. While there are supplements for joint issues, most of them cost more than I'm currently willing to spend. Besides, collagen can be derived from some of my favored meat sources- chicken, beef, fish. Simmering bones and connective tissue provides a tasty additive to meals that no capsule can compete with. Still, adding the supplement in reduced doses wouldn't hurt unless I started relying on the supplement exclusively- which, being lazy, I'd probably end up doing.

Losing fifty pounds wouldn't hurt the joints, but that isn't going to happen short of me being unable to cook and feed myself. When I look into supplements that might aid weight loss the information is conflicting, as it usually is with most herbal treatments. Of the several offerings on the Piping Rock website apple cider and brown seaweed capsules are the most attractive, being pronounceable and less expensive than some of the other suggestions for weight loss. Cost and the DW loathing the odor of vinegar have to be included in all my calculations.

I can't get the DW to even taste switchel (haymakers punch) a vinegar concoction that has become the go-to "pick-me-up" among my clans older working members. The sisters easily peel and chop ginger root before steeping it in hot water for an hour or so. After draining the liquor they combine it with honey and raw vinegar. Diluted with water to taste, it can either be used during a day of physical labor or sipped as a replacement for soda pop and the like. The best part of the drink is the ease with which it can be altered to suit ones tastes as well as ones physical needs.

I suppose making a ginger beer for the DW (she loves the stuff) and getting her to swallow an apple cider vinegar capsule might gain her the benefits the rest of us are getting from switchel. I'll run that by her as I build my next Piping Rock order of new supplements to trial as I seek that elixir for a pain free, active old age.

Sheesh. I've become my mother. Or an aspect of her.

She once complained, "You kids got the worst attributes of both families! Bullheaded Englishmen and stubborn Germans."

Ah yep.