The noble man

McKenna Snow
Class of 2024

(3/2021) There are some intrinsic elements of fatherhood that cannot be substituted or detached. These elements are found in particular virtues, qualities, and in the very nature of manhood itself. There are many that go overlooked now because our day-to-day life is remarkably easier and less life-threatening than, for example, the life of a settler called to protect his family from the harsh conditions of the wilderness. A father, then, might not be necessarily a human being who is intrinsically "brave" anymore. The vocation of fatherhood used to naturally entail this virtue, which implied that the man would be willing to step into any fight or fire to protect his family. Does life still challenge the modern-day American father in this heroic way? Though some modern-day occupations carry heavy risk to those in such fields, overall the conditions are less harsh. And yet the inherent noble virtues remain, and continue to necessitate the vocation of fatherhood.

For example, the virtue of bravery is still essential to the life of a father. I do not think that the virtue of bravery is totally lost to fathers simply because our conditions of living have improved significantly over the years. Rather, I think they are more often called to the bravery of being "unpopular" in modern circles. And what could make a father "unpopular?" His embrace of masculinity to serve his family better.

It is no easy thing to go against the progressive crowd, which calls for total equalization of men and women. They do not believe in men holding doors for women anymore. They hate the term "ladies first." A stay-at-home mom is becoming less and less encouraged, and the man providing for her and their children is facing a similar ridicule. Masculinity threatens the progressive movement because it empowers men where they thrive most: in embracing their natural strength, protectiveness, leadership skills, and competiveness. Fathers who embrace their masculinity use these natural tendencies to the benefit of their families, not for their own personal gain. They are motivated by their desire to provide for their families, thus wanting to do well in their occupations. Their leadership skills and competitiveness equip them to go far in the workplace.

Among the man’s natural qualities, his protectiveness over his family orients his physical strength for their benefit. Although the modern-day man is not faced with as difficult survival conditions as in the past, he sometimes is faced with intruders, criminals, and unexpected dangers from which he must protect his family. Consider a father rushing into a burning building because he knows that his child is inside. He thinks nothing of his own potential jeopardy—rather, he employs any and all strength he has to rescue his child. Employed righteously, the qualities of masculinity help a father to provide and care for his family better.

Another virtue that cannot be understated is faith. While faith is definitely important for both men and women, it is a father’s responsibility to set the example in the home for his children. That is why this virtue puts particular responsibility on the father, who leads his family in daily prayer, and demonstrates the importance of a relationship with God by driving his family to church on Sundays. Further, since no family is without hardships, a father who exercises faith in times of trial provides an encouraging example for his children. A father’s ability to exemplify hope in such times is invaluable. If he practices this virtue, his children will mature with a deeper sense of family life encouraged by hope and optimism. The children will be able to look back at their father as a role-model during their own trials in life, and say, "my father handled that with grace, faith, and hope. In my trials now, I know I can do the same." A family environment steeped in purpose provides the children with a deeper sense of hope and optimism.

Love is the most important aspect of the vocation of fatherhood. A father’s love for his children is seen in how he is understanding and responsive to his child’s needs, wants, and struggles. It is also seen in his faithfulness and attentiveness to his wife. He puts her needs above his, and works with her as a team in guiding their family. He joyfully helps his wife with chores, such as cooking, cleaning, repairing parts of the house, maintaining vehicles, and yardwork. This father lovingly sets boundaries and sometimes tells his children "no" so they will not always expect instant gratification in life. He prioritizes time with his family over time in his "man cave" when he is home from work. Sports and hobbies pale in comparison to the joy found in taking his children to a playground and to taking his wife on a date. A father who spends time with his family creates irreplaceable memories that a child will cherish for the rest of his or her life.

Being a father is no easy calling. To this day, the vocation entails specific and irremovable aspects in order for the family to function healthily. The father practices bravery in his daily life, unafraid of humbling himself as he holds the door for his wife and children to walk through. Further, he is called to orient his masculinity toward the benefit of his family, rather than toward personal gain and exaltation. Having faith is crucial for teaching his children to value morals and optimism, especially in times of trial. And a father responds wholeheartedly to the call to love his family unconditionally and unchangingly. Putting aside his own interests for his family, he teaches them the intrinsic value of family life and how to spend precious time meaningfully.

How beautiful are these aspects of fatherhood, how encouraging and inspiring are they! Indeed, fathers are heroic. They are irreplaceable. May this vocation never be neglected, devalued, or understated. It is a good thing to be a man; it is a noble thing to be a father.