In giving that we receive

Harry Scherer
Class of 2022

(12/2018) When I was given the prompt for this month’s student perspective, I felt both limited and liberated. Limited, in the sense that I must write about the "best" gift that I have ever received and the "best" gift that I have ever given. Liberated, in the sense that we were being called to write about topics that transcend the material. We were liberated from the humdrum bore of holiday gift-giving and were invited to elevate the conversation of the "best" gifts in our lives and to consider the spiritual.

My instantaneous, knee-jerk reaction is that my parents are the best gift that I have ever received. To ensure that this is more than merely an autonomic response, I consider the gift that they have participated with God to give me: my life. Yes, it is certainly an intellectual conviction that my parents fit this role.

My parents have given and continue to give to me everything that they have, and then some, to become the best man that I can be. Despite the stereotype that many only children live the life of Richy Rich or Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, my childhood was not one of constant material satisfaction or appeasement. My mom and dad gave, and continue to give, everything that they have of their very beings, their souls. It would be pitifully reductionist of me to suggest that my parents gave me all of themselves through material goods or that the quality of their love is merely the summation of all their actions. It is not the quantity of their loving actions that epitomizes the nature of their love, but the quality of their loving way that makes that love clearer by the day. They have truly subscribed to the precept of St. Mother Theresa of Calcutta: "Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do…but how much love we put in that action."

Through their constant example, my parents have taught me that God is the reason for our lives and that love supersedes all other considerations: a love that is patient and kind, as the apostle wrote. They have also taught me that our time on this earth is precious and should never be wasted. This has been made evident throughout my life, with both of my parents constantly encouraging me to reach my fullest potential academically and spiritually.

As I reflect on how all parents are teachers, and in fact, our primary educators, I am reminded that the education that I currently receive in the academic center at the Mount is vastly different to the education that I receive at home around the dinner table. The teaching that I received in the kitchen laid the essential groundwork for what I am learning now.

For example, my dad always asks, "could you be wrong?" when I self-assuredly say something with too much certainty. An extension of this prodding question has been confirmed with the study of humility and pride in university. Without his provocative questioning, it would be difficult to understand why one would desire humility over pride and why this humility leads to holiness, which in turn leads to happiness. These facts of living growth are all so simple to reflect on at this point, but it is unlikely that I would have been able to accept these palpable truths without the ardent passion of my parents. The immense wisdom that my dad has obtained throughout his life, as evidenced by the single example of inquiry, is overwhelmingly obvious to anyone who meets him. Some of the greatest gifts that he has given to me is his voice of reason, constancy and love, and is one of the most level-headed leaders that I have ever known.

The gift that my mom has given to me is the ability to use my voice. While going through thyroid cancer treatments, one of her surgeries went awry and, as she says, "I lost my voice and I thought I might never get it back." Today, she uses her voice to lead groups in our parish, her friends and others to Christ.

As an extension of this parental love, a love that has given everything so that I may receive everything, I continue to consider the transcendent and suggest that the best gift that I have ever given is that of myself to others. I believe this to be true because of the relentless dedication of my parents to instill in me that a life lived for others if a life worth living.

Commitment to living a life for others has been a mission of people around the world since the birth of Christ, and arguably, even before then. The famous Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, proclaimed in homes and churches around the world and across denominations, reminds us that "it is in giving that we receive." How beautiful and puzzling this radically contradictory and seemingly oxymoronic statement is for our culture.

Along with genuinely believing that the best gift I have ever given, and continue to give, is myself, it is convenient that I have been historically juvenile with physical gift-giving. These material gifts tend to be uncreative and yearning for personality. I hope, but am not certain, that I make up for these dismal gifts with a calm voice which, I hope, everyone can lean on in times of trouble.

These times of trouble come to everyone, and when one lives his or her life for others, they learn to trust in God and others with ever-greater freedom. The practical positive consequences of living life for others, for embracing the words of St. Francis of Assisi, that in giving do we receive, should be incentive enough for everyone during this Christmas season to live a life for Christ and for others. In this light, it is clear that we were not brought into this world by ourselves or for ourselves, but by another and for another.

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