Group effort

Emmy Jansen
MSMU Class of 2023

(2/2020) To choose just one person who has inspired me to be a better, kinder version of myself is an impossible task. I’ve stolen bits and pieces of my personality and ethic from every individual I encounter. In some way or another, every person I have met has been an inspiration for me. Whether I passed them once on the street or lived with them for my entire childhood, all of them have impacted me, and I can’t put a number on the value or amount of wisdom each has given me.

I don’t know if it’s possible to have only one inspiration. Humans are fallible creatures, as well as unique individuals. We are inspired by their words, actions, or beliefs, but we look past their flaws, idiosyncrasies, and quirks- as we should. But maybe it is those things, the less desirable aspects that each of us have, that are our inspiration. Ignoring these flaws can perpetrate them more but using them as inspiration of what to avoid can be just as impactful as those who inspire us by being good examples.

Up until freshman year of high school, I dreamed of being a teacher. When I sat at my desk in classes, I picked up on the traits each teacher had and made mental notes of what I would do instead when I finally had my own classroom. This information is somewhat useless now, as I no longer plan on pursuing education, but these observations served as steppingstones into making me into a better teacher. Maybe I didn’t like the way a teacher reprimanded a student or how they were too unorganized for my Type A brain. Or, it was the way they motivated even the laziest student to care about the topic. And how much energy and effort they put into making each lesson enjoyable.

I had the advantage of being the fourth of five kids growing up. It is with love that I say their trials and tribulations served as inspirations for me as well, mostly of what not to do. But I respect their decisions and I know how lucky I am to have had examples, good and bad, that I could look to for guidance growing up. Whether they know it or not, I am who I am in part because of them. From the start of elementary school through eighth grade, I was always in one of their shadows. With three older siblings, there was always a teacher who had already experienced a member of my family, which changed their perception of me. However, in high school, I was in a new school with a new community. My last name was insignificant, and I was no longer part of a set. Even with no formal guidance given, I know I still looked to my siblings and their experiences as I paved my own path through those four years.

Even in college I find myself looking back and reflecting on the lives of my family members. My roommate and I would sit around our dorm wondering, what were our parents like when they were in college? What would my older sister be doing right now? Because at this point in my life, the roadmap is less clear. The road signs are jumbled up and at times, I’m flying blind. During high school, everything was laid out in terms of what had to be done and what was yet to come. Adulthood has proved to be less organized. But my Type A brain is okay with this, and I’ve enjoyed truly blazing my own trail. My life is still an accumulation of those around me, but it is more mine than it has ever been. These adventures, and misadventures, have only one owner, despite the hundreds of inspirations they’ve had.

We discussed in one of my classes here how it isn’t just the people or events in our life that impact us, but the things that happened before we took our first breath. For example, there may be a correlation between our birth story and an aspect of our lives. Maybe you were born two weeks late, so you’re more relaxed when it comes to time and care more about the quality of it rather than the quantity. If you were induced, maybe you’re always looking for that extra push to accomplish tasks. My mom wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids after my older brother, which I guess makes my sister and I sort of miracles. I think this has ingrained some sort of need for me to prove my existence, to prove that my life has meaning and purpose. The miracle wasn’t wasted on me. That might be why I pushed myself so hard in high school, and continue to do so in college, to be successful both in school and in the community. This is one thing that sets me apart from my older siblings, which I attribute to our different births. So, I can’t only list people as my inspirations, since there are factors that aren’t human that have made me who I am today.

I think we’ve forgotten the significance of the word kindness. It is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. We all probably started 2020 with big dreams of what we would become, what adjective we were striving to reach. We want to be prettier, stronger, healthier, and happier. How many of us have ever looked in the mirror and said we wanted to be kinder? I think that is what sets ordinary people apart from the extraordinary, those that top the list of inspirations across the globe. Malala Yousafzai, Martin Luther King Jr., Pope John Paul II, Mother Teresa. They didn’t make it their goal to be the best, stronger, prettiest. But they chose kindness, practically every time. Yes, hit the gym and read those books that you told yourself you were going to finish by 2021. But take time to look at those around you, evaluate your actions, and reflect. You can’t measure the amount of kindness in a person like you can measure weight on a scale. I think the only way to quantify it is to see who lists you as their inspiration. Who would say you inspired them to be better, kinder version of themselves?

I could’ve written something cheesy about how my parents inspired me to be loyal to those around me or how my friends teach me how to slow down and enjoy the little moments. All these things are true, of course, but it would be an injustice to the hundreds of inspirations in my life that have made me the woman I am today if I minimized my life to merely one individual. Maybe I spend too long with my nose in books, idealizing life and the symbolism of every event. Maybe I love people too much. But I am not ashamed to not have one person who has made me a better, kinder version of myself. This version was a group project.

Read other articles by Emmy Jansen