It’s not the end

Angela Guiao
MSMU Class of 2021

(5/2020) I heard someone say it is the end of the world.

Some would say that’s a little dramatic. But I can’t blame some for thinking that. In 2020 alone, there were the bushfires in Australia, the volcanic ash explosion in Taal, and now, the COVID-19 pandemic that is spreading across the world. And it’s only May. I can completely see how so many terrible things happening within such a short amount of time may seem like the beginning of the end.

But I refuse to believe it is the end.

I think it is during times like these that it is especially important to look for the silver lining. It is easy to feel defeated. It is easy to feel hopeless and uncertain and unhappy. When so much in life is changing beyond your control, it is easy to feel disoriented and shocked. And rightfully so. There are things happening to some of us now that make it very hard to see any good. Millions of people have lost their jobs. Some are draining their savings in order to support their families. Others aren’t able to pay rent or make car payments. There are those who are just trying to make ends meet.

For me, my family has been blessed enough to be able to continue working. And while I am eternally grateful that we are not worrying about finances, I am constantly worrying about everything else. My mother is in her 50’s. She was diagnosed with diabetes when I was a Junior in high school. And since then she has implemented a lifestyle change that if she had not pursued, would have left her blind. I’ve worked hard throughout school so that one day she may stop working, but I haven’t reached that point yet. So now I worry. I worry because according to the articles and news outlets, those with underlying diseases are at risk. And she is all I have.

So, in short, I understand the stress. I understand how sometimes the worry can get overwhelming. How difficult it may be sometimes to see the light in such opaque darkness. But I believe it is important to see the good. Because it is the good that keeps us going. I’ve found good in the little things, the simple things. And though they may be small, they take my mind of all the scary things that are happening. They bring me happiness.

Since the pandemic, I’ve suddenly been able to wake up late. Not as late as I’d like to, however, because my little sister wakes up at 8:30 am every morning and I am the one who has to make her breakfast.

Since the pandemic, I’ve been able to spend more time with her though. And for that I am grateful. However, I wish she would listen to something other than baby songs. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Since the pandemic, I’ve gotten pretty sick of technology. It was great after a few weeks. But now, I want to do anything and everything except stare at a screen. And since I’ve stopped, I’ve begun to listen. I listen to my mom’s stories. The same ones I’ve heard a thousand times before but are still pretty funny. I listen to the cars and the trucks and the people outside my window. I realized there was so much I drowned out, and I feel like I’m just beginning to actually see the world again.

Since the pandemic, I’ve realized how fast I was moving. Normally, I was always in a rush. A rush to get to school then to class then out of class. A rush to get home. A rush to eat or get to work. I never had any time to relax. I never took the time to enjoy.

Since the pandemic, I’ve been able to catch up on schoolwork. This semester has already been pretty crazy for me even without the natural disasters that have been happening. So much was going on, and there was so many things I needed to be on track with that I wasn’t able to put my entire focus on school. But I’ve slowly been catching up, and I am proud to say that I am 75% closer to getting my life together.

Since the pandemic, I’ve realized how quickly things can change. And so, I decided not to waste any more time. I tell my mom I love her, even when she is getting a little too naggy. And I let my little sister feed me Cheetos drenched in orange juice even if does taste absolutely disgusting. I’ve decided to let it be. Because when my mom isn’t around to nag me anymore or when my sister gets older and decides not to bug me anymore, I know I’ll miss it. So, I’ve decided to appreciate the moments I have and to enjoy them.

These all may seem like terribly small and insignificant things. And in some ways, they are. But these are all things I would not have even noticed had this pandemic not have happened. I wouldn’t have realized how much I am missing, or how much I care about the things I am missing. I wouldn’t have realized the opportunity I’ve been given. The opportunity to better myself and to realize my shortcomings. The most important thing this pandemic has given me is time. Time with my family, time to pay attention, time to think about the things I want to do and time to do them.

I hope everyone can find their silver lining. During these times, I pray for the safety and good health of all peoples. I hope everyone finds happiness in the little things and appreciates the time they have been given. I pray for all who are undergoing hardships and struggles and wish for prosperity and abundance to come to them.

I heard someone say that it is the end of the world.

But to quote John Lennon: "Everything is will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end."

It’s not the end.

Read other articles by Angela Tongohan