Decades to come

Angela Guiao
MSMU Class of 2021

(1/2020) If you asked 11-year-old me what I would be doing in ten years, I bet you little me would not imagine her life to be the way it is now. So much has happened in a decade. Ten years ago, it was 2009, and I had just graduated from 5th grade. I was transitioning into middle school, with newfound freedom, choices, and opportunities. I was excited. Looking back on it now, I realize how silly I was. I was so eager to grow up; so anxious to become independent. If only I understood how easy life was, and how much harder it was going to be.

I was thrown into a life filled with 50-minute classes, separated by class bells, and allowed the freedom of switching rooms without being accompanied by our teacher or standing in a straight line. I could sit anywhere in the lunchroom, not only with my class, and I had to change clothes for gym.

A year later I would be sent off to Catholic school in D.C., after an incident involving me being stabbed with a pencil. And here I learned not only the importance of academic excellence, but also the significance of proper manners and behavior. I learned to address my teachers as Sir or Ma’am, to open the door for the people behind me, and to value people with respect and kindness. I was introduced to a devout life, where there was mass every Tuesday, and prayers before each class. I particularly enjoyed that school. And I credit it as the place that shaped me into the person I am today.

After that, I returned to Maryland for high school. And here I found lifelong friends and a passion for tennis and fashion. I was challenged for the first time here. I met a teacher that made me question my love for writing. And for the first time I had to overcome. I learned how to face failure, and how to improve myself despite the odds. I grew a lot in high school. It was here that I recognized that I was not always going to be the best, and that despite this I was still good enough.

And after four long years, I found myself at the Mount. I would have never imagined that I would have taken a year off in college, but I did. And after more than a decade of focusing on a career path to be a surgeon, I am here, in my third year, studying Accounting and absolutely loving it. It was here at the Mount that I learned to listen. I learned to listen to myself, to take the time to fully comprehend what I wanted to do, not do only what was expected of me. It was here that I took a risk, I decided to put myself first. It was here that I gained hope, that I began to hope and believe in a future where I would be happy. Here at the Mount, I became a version of myself that I am proud of, that I hope my mother is proud of, that I hope my future kids will be proud of.

A decade has passed, and I learned that nothing ever goes to plan. I spent so much time focusing on one goal. I made decisions (which school to attend, classes to take) to prepare myself for this future that I was not sure would manifest in the end. I missed opportunities to enjoy, to have fun, to act my age, because I was so concentrated on reaching a goal, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to reach.

As I look back now, I would tell little me to stop planning. I would tell her that the secret to a good life is enjoying the moment and the people around you. I would tell her not to get too hung up on the failures or the missed opportunities; that obsessing over a bad outcome would only cause her to miss out on a better part of life.

I would tell her to stop fighting with her mom because her mom is only thinking of what is best for her, and that one day she would meet someone who wished they had a mom like hers.

I would tell her to stop wondering if she made the right choice. That second guessing was nothing but a waste of time. That she was exactly where she was supposed to be, and instead of overthinking, enjoy whatever life throws at her.

And most importantly, I would tell her to appreciate and be happy because over the last ten years, that is the most important lesson I learned. I realized how much energy I wasted wishing for a different outcome, wishing for satisfaction in things I didn’t enjoy, and wishing for something more or what others had. I realized how much time I spent looking at everyone and everything else, without realizing the beauty of the things in front of me.

I have been so focused on becoming better and getting to where I want to go, I forgot that the real significance is not in the destination, but rather is in the journey.

As I look back on the last ten years, I don’t remember my aspirations for the future, but rather the experiences of my past. I remember the people who I have lost or no longer talk to, the places I once visited. I remember the memories, the laughter, the feeling of excitement at discovering new passions and interests. I remember the moments where I failed, and the days it was hard to pick myself back up.

I look back at the past decade, and I don’t wonder what I will be doing a decade from now. Instead, I smile and thank God for allowing me the opportunity to experience everything that I have experienced. I thank God for the growth, the opportunities, the love, and the memories, and I ask that he continue to allow me to enjoy my journey for decades to come.

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