Choose to be kind

Angela Guiao
MSMU Class of 2021

(2/2020) I’ve always envied those who were kind by nature. The kind of people who you knew you could trust the moment you meet them. The person who has that aura, you know which one I mean: the warm one, the welcoming one, the one that makes you feel at ease and lower your guard. I’ve never been that kind of person. I was always a little rough around the edges; the kind of person you needed to warm up to. The person you were unsure of in the beginning but gradually began to like after a few times hanging out.

When I was younger, I was very shy. I spent a lot of time not really saying anything or doing anything that would bring any type of attention to me. I was a bit of a wallflower, to be honest. And on the very rare occasion that I did say something, it was always the wrong thing to say at the worst possible time.

It wasn’t until the beginning of my freshman year here at the Mount that I decided I wanted to change. And I didn’t want to change because I wanted to fit in or anything like that, but rather because I was simply unhappy with the way I was. Being shy, people tend to forget you are there. Or they realized you are there and just don’t really care. And I witnessed a lot of bad. There was a lot of bullying, of trash-talking, of condescendence. There was a lot of animosity between people, groups of people, and all around just a lot of hate.

And to be honest, at one point I became indifferent to it. I began to agree with the hate, agree with the bullies, agree with mean and nasty people, meaning that as a result, I was mean and nasty myself. And I don’t know why I agreed, and I don’t know how I became indifferent, but I do know that at one point I was not happy with the way I was.

It wasn’t until I came to the Mount and was suddenly surrounded by these cheerful, happy students who said hello to whomever passed by, asked how your day was, and had nothing but good things to say to people did I realize just how bad I’ve gotten.

So, in the end, I guess what I am trying to say is that I’ve learned how to be kind from those who were not. I learned what I should not be doing, how I should not treat people, what I should not say. And it was by not doing these things that I learned how I could be a good person.

Kindness, in my opinion, requires a great deal of self-reflection. But it also a requires an even greater deal of awareness. How does a person react when you say something? Do they smile or do they frown? Have you embarrassed them or have you got them talking about something they are passionate about? How do you feel about their reaction?

I feel like kindness is a choice. Granted, there are people who are naturally kind, but I believe even the nastiest person can be kind, if he really wanted to be. It all starts with how we feel. You see, I believe that to be kind, we must truly care about the person we are dealing with or just care in general. For example, I believe Mother Theresa truly cared for those who were in need. And as a result, she was kind because kindness is a product of caring. Kindness, as an act, affects mostly who you are being kind to. It affects the recipient because it is overall good, positive, and dare I say, right.

Now, I know a bunch of you are thinking about that handful of people who are kind for their own gain. The kind of people who use kindness as a sort of façade. The ones who are kind because there are aware that someone is watching. You know, the common argument that nothing is really a selfless act because we will always gain from doing good? It basically means that although we are performing acts of kindness towards others, we are still in some way gaining because of how good we feel or how positively other people’s perception of us becomes because of our acts of kindness.

And to that I can only answer: what is wrong with that? What is so wrong about being filled with positivity and happy feelings and transforming into a good person, personally and in other’s perceptions after performing an act of kindness? Is it wrong to gain? Does helping others mean that they cannot in some small way help us in return? Even if it only means that we get to feel good about ourselves for a few, insignificant minutes? Does enjoying those few minutes mean we are selfish? Because I don’t think so. I think that if we can throw positivity around, good deeds around, happiness around, we should.

I believe in karma, and that includes good karma. I believe that what goes around comes around whether that be hatred or happiness. I believe we should be kind to others, because we all want people to be kind to us! And I believe that no one gets hurt from being kind.

I am junior now here at the Mount, and I can say that I am happier with myself today than I was when I was a freshman. And that’s because I took the time to step back and take a look at how I was as a person. Then after realizing I wasn’t happy with who I was, I decided to do something about it. People will say that I am doing this for selfish reasons. But I think that kindness is not selfish. Kindness is good. Kindness helps others and helps those who are being kind.

I think the world can be more kind.

If only we would take kindness out of context, and reflect on it for what it is, we will realize that kindness is good. No matter what, no matter who or what it affects, no matter the reason why, kindness is good. The impact of kindness is good. So, I hope this year, and for every year to come, we choose to be kind.

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