> Additions in April, 2001
List of Prior Months Additions
4/30 <- click here to read all the jokes posted on this date on one page
A small, balding man stormed into a local bar and demanded a double . . .
Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore . . .
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons . . .
More things we would love to say at work
A Stock Market Dictionary for the past year investor
The perfect breakfast ... you're sitting at the table
38,562 men were asked to identify woman's ultimate fantasy.
Hank finally found the nerve to tell his fiancée that he had to break off their engagement. . .
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"
More Things Andy Rooney has learned in his life
A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids . . .
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class . . .
In an effort to reduce costs this year, the following are effective immediately
Things Andy Rooney has learned in his life
The following is an actual letter that was attached to a 1998 tax return
Did you ever wonder ... Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Jake had been an observant catholic and was in the hospital, near death.
What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously?
If their mothers were Jewish:
Why Women Talk So Much
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in a hangar at JFK New York.
George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died.
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone
Rules Of The Air: Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive female neighbor came out.
More Bush'ism: Continued
One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money.
An artist asked if there had been any interest in his paintings.
More Bush'ism: "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch
All those who believe in Telekinesis, raise my hand.
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood . . .
A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......
Little know blond inventions . . .
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break . . .
Modern Proverbs: If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Letterman's Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
Dolly, the famous cloned sheep, was up in the highlands of Scotland and fell off one of the cliffs.
Actual T-shirt Slogans i.e., "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
5 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
A rancher was approached by a Native American who said he could read the minds of animals.
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation.
Totally useless facts that someone actually took the time to organize! (part 2)
Insights for an old sage to live your life by.
A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials . . .
On Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield
Totally useless facts that someone actually took the time to organize! (part 1)
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.
Money...It can buy a house . . . . . but not a home.
Comprehending Engineers - Take One (4/10)
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.
A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall.
On a plane bound for New York a flight attendant approached a blonde
More ' George Carlinisms' Part 2
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon
You are 100% Texan if....
More ' George Carlinisms'
Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes . . .
Many are aware that in the Peoples Republic of China couples are only allowed to have two children.
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house
If we could only thinks like kids again . . .
Even More things only Martha Stewart would know.
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community . . .
insights on what makes a really good teacher.
A blonde was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child . . .
More things only Martha Stewart would know.
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
Literal translations of some of George W. Bush's more popular Texas colloquialisms . .
Things only Martha Stewart would know..
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.
A blonde walks up to a coke machine, puts a dollar in, presses the button.
A person fell ill in a restaurant and people called out, "Is there a doctor in the house?"
Display full list of Jokes added in March 2001