The Grandpa says, "No."

The little boy goes on, "Please...please make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."

The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."

So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother 'no' and I'm telling you 'no'."

The little girl says, "Please...please Grandpa make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"

The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"

• Dogs: kibbles
• Computers: bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior

• Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
• Computers: hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property

• Dogs: dog not found
• Computers: file not found

Favorite trick

• Dogs: roll over
• Computers: play dead

Comic-page hero

• Dogs: Dogbert
• Computers: Dilbert

Fun way to mess with their heads

• Dogs: peanut butter on roof of mouth
• Computers: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive

Consequence of virus

• Dogs: replace valuable carpeting
• Computers: replace valuable data

Widely ignored government mandate

• Dogs: leash law
• Computers: Communications Decency Act

Waste disposal tool

• Dogs: pooper-scooper
• Computers: uninstaller

Sensitive internal procedures

• Dogs: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
• Computers: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed one kind of like this once

Method of marking territory

• Dogs: lifting leg
• Computers: "Designed for Windows XP"

Unique behavior

• Dogs: lick and drag
• Computers: click-and-drag

Inexplicable physical feature

• Dogs: declaw
• Computers: scroll lock key

Estimated lifespan

• Dogs: 12 years
• Computers: 12 months

At end of useful life

• Dogs: euthanasia
• Computers: tax deduction

• The only thing at the annual May Lilac Festival is snow.
• The worst four-letter word you could say is "Fuji". (Rochester has Kodak)
• You thought that you had figured out that alternate-parking thing, but wind up with a ticket anyway. (during winter you must park on alternating sides of the street to facilitate plowing)
• Toronto is about 70 miles away, but it takes four hours to get there. (You have to deal with a lake (Ontario))
• There's an 800 number to report a pothole in the road.
• In a city where it snows at least 90 inches a year, they build a new sports stadium with no roof on it.
• A musical comes to town 10 years after its Broadway premier and the entire town goes nuts!
• You awaken from a deep sleep, look at the clock and see that it's 6:00, but you have no idea whether it's AM or PM.
• More than 18 inches of snow falls overnight, but you never thought of NOT going to work. (Or school)
• You are perplexed when friends from other cities come to visit and want to "see the sights".
• There are places at the poles that seem to get more sunlight during the winter months than we do.
• You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
• Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.
• You believe that "down south" means Maryland.