Whether you like Red Velvet Cake or not, there are life lessons to be learned from baking and devouring, I mean daintily savoring, Red Velvet Cake. The ‘Velvet’ in Red Velvet Cake is elusive. If you don’t nail it just right, you end up baking or tasting… red cake. Red cake is a sorry substitute for Red Velvet Cake.

It takes 10 minutes to mix the batter and 12 minutes to beat the frosting before you even have a chance of achieving Velvet. Velvet takes time.

Velvet is precise. It takes exactly so much of this and so much of that. There is no cheating! Follow the directions and you just might achieve Velvet.

The ingredients of Velvet don’t taste good if they stand alone. Most people don’t seek vinegar, flour, or cocoa powder as tasty treats.

While trotting down our path through life some of life’s lessons are not fun to experience. But when viewed as part of a process to make each of us better or more knowledgeable, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

If you seem to be jumping into vinegar puddles, maybe you’re not following your life’s recipe. If others are blowing flour in your face, maybe you didn’t take enough time to measure the parts or you’ve tried to cheat the recipe! When you get the parts mixed together just so, you’ve got Velvet.

Velvet is like hitting your stride when running, being one with the music when dancing, or moments of comprehension from your students when teaching. Velvet is an effective medium for an artist, expression for a singer or actor, or the things that give you satisfaction in whatever path you’ve chosen for your life.

For Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be interesting to examine what couples felt was the "Velvet" in their relationships. So, I started with my own parents, Robert and Barbara Abraham of Foxville who celebrated 50 years of marriage this past August.

Dad’s quick response was, "Give us another 10 years and then ask, maybe we’ll know the answer then." Okay!

Undeterred, I put the question out there and held my breath for the answers.

Austin and Betty Lee Rickerd of Thurmont cited respect of each other during their 48 year marriage. Betty Lee added, "It’s a lot of give and take-compromise. We both worked hard all of our lives and we have nice kids and nice grandkids."

Take a look at the results of the "Velvet" query with couples’ photos and their thoughts. Thank you to those who were willing to share, and please, have a velvet smooth Valentine month and maybe some cake. Yum!

Velvet 1: Frank and Shirley Riffle of Thurmont have enjoyed 53 years of marriage. Shirley said she thought the Velvet was "Giving the other person space. When we got married, you needed two people to make things work. You didn’t think about getting a divorce, you just made it work." Frank added, "You have to take the good with the bad."

Velvet 2: Mary and Jack Topper of Emmitsburg have been married for 40 years. Mary sums up her opinion of Velvet in a few words. "Sharing, compromise, being able to say when you were wrong and you’re sorry."

Velvet 3: Lori and Art Stewart of Harney say the Velvet in their 13 year marriage is "friendship and trust and treating the other person as you want to be treated."

Velvet 4: Tom and Shelly Fraley of Detour have been married for 13 years. Tom refers to their marriage as "A lot of give and a little take."

Velvet 5: Mark and Sherry Topper of Creagerstown agree that the success of their 14 year marriage stands on the fact that "He does his thing and I do my thing," Sherry says. Mark adds, "We’re best friends."