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What is love?

Pastor Phil Beck
St. Paul's Lutheran Church
Walkersville

(6/1) How do we love? Why do we love? What do we love? Is love worth the trouble? The Oxford dictionary’s definition of love comes in two forms, a noun; intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest or pleasure in something; a verb; to feel deep affection for someone or to like or enjoy very much. We have all grown up with our own notions of what we expect love to be and how we share our love with others, not just with family or friends, but with everyone around us and abroad. I believe sometimes we casually use this term but for me there is a deep down feeling that comes with loving someone or something, a feeling we often find hard to describe or to quantify.

There is that first love when we are young and are smitten with feelings beyond your comprehension, feelings that might not sustain themselves as we mature and come into ourselves to realize we may be searching for something else. We find love takes work and sometimes the work is painful at the outset but worth the journey we find ourselves on together. Love together leads us to share the joys and sorrows of our lives only to make us stronger and able to persevere new challenges.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes love doesn’t come out the way we anticipate and we are left to pick up the pieces of what we believed in. A recent poll of young people taken to find out why they don’t come to church found a troubling result. They regard Christians as judgmental, hypocritical, and who harbor a hate for gays which is not what Jesus proclaimed nor did the disciples practice. I certainly have issue with these descriptors but am not naVve enough to believe this is not a perspective held by some people.

There are many things in life that are hard to understand with the constant flow of new identities or how to come beside those we might believe are not pulling their weight or who may be pushing something of their own agenda with these things being often difficult to reconcile. The challenging call for us is to be able to listen with a loving ear to hear a perspective different from ours.

It doesn’t sound nice and often we are hurt when someone misunderstands us or has their own notions about what they believe us to be. During my career in law enforcement there were numerous times I was called names or it was inferred the only reason I took a particular action was because of the circumstance of the time. Though there were never any actions that indicated the particular proclivity I was being associated with and sometimes it was just a poor effort for someone to deflect attention away from their own issues, the sting of the accusation stays with you.

The same way I felt the hurt of whatever insult was thrown my way is probably felt by Christians around the world as we work to spread the Good News to those who may not have access to God or perhaps are frightened by what the prospect of receiving God in their lives might bring. We disciples of Jesus have continually fallen far short in our love for one another as well as in our love for those outside the community of faith. Various arguments often give way to personal attacks and name-calling; personal interests often trump the common good of the community where those in need of compassion find judgment instead.

I was recently telling some folks about my time in a local hospital completing my Clinical Pastoral Education. Let me back up a minute and relay a memory of my first candidacy meeting as I entered discernment for seminary. I was asked by the Bishop how I prayed. I responded that I found connection, as most of you know, in the woods or in a boat on the lake, and often took comfort in my solitary time with God. The Bishop said no, how do you pray with people? I casually replied that I typically didn’t to which he said that we would have to change that. So for me working in the hospital where one of my main functions was to pray with people in their time of need presented a not so comfortable feeling for me and neither was I particularly proficient. Over the six months of my time at the hospital, I became more comfortable with prayer and one particular memory lingers with me.

I walked into the room and identified myself to the woman in the bed as the hospital chaplain. Immediately, the woman told me she was not going to want to hear a thing I had to say. Most people know I am not the pushy church guy but I pulled up a chair and told her then I would listen to what she had to say. There was a bit of awkward silence but then the woman opened up to me to tell me all that had gone wrong in her life and that she was lost. I just sat with her for a while without saying a word as she shed some tears. At some point she told me she was tired so I got up, replaced my chair, and began to leave. As I headed towards the door, she thanked me for my company and just listening. I never saw the woman again but am hopeful she received a new outlook on what having a Christian in her life might look like.

As I started this message, I defined what love means and how we typically perceive love in our lives with this feeling pervading the bible in many ways. Yet Jesus redefines love in the Gospel of John Chapter 13, Jesus gives us a new roadmap forward in how we are to love one another. Jesus has just washed the feet of the disciples, even Judas who would betray Him. Jesus demonstrates his love for the same disciples who will fail him miserably. Jesus washes and feeds Judas who will betray him, Peter who will deny him, and all the rest who will fail to stand by him in his hour of profound anguish. The love Jesus demonstrates is certainly not based on what we might perceive as worthy but he lovingly serves. Jesus commands his disciples to love others in the same way.

Jesus has continued over and over to exemplify servanthood of love to the disciples who frequently misunderstand, much like us, how to be Christ in the world. Jesus could not be clearer: "It is not by our theological correctness, not by our moral purity, not by our impressive knowledge that everyone will know we are his disciples. It is quite simply by our loving acts—acts of service and sacrifice, acts that point to the love of God", joyful acts that serve to feed the body, mind, and spirit of all.

Jesus devotion to loving each other is what gives the disciples their path forward for the spread of Christianity. As he loved and that love spread within his circle of trust, so too will love spread after he is gone when love is done in his name. John highlights for us to love and serve others, is how people should recognize Christians, to know we are Christians by our love not by hate or hypocrisy or being judgmental. Yet, I would also posit it will be how people of all faiths share love will be how we are recognized. Jesus tells us the way it should be, modeling a life of servanthood, not just one of affection. "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize you are my disciples — when they see the love you have for each other."

Love for us materializes in many ways, from the mundane to the heroic. Serve to Love and Love to Serve. Today, whether we may like you or not, we are called to allow others to know we are Christians and members of other faiths by our love and by serving you through our love alone.

To learn more about St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, visit them on-line at www.saintpaulslutheranchurch.org, or better yet join them for Sunday at 14 W. Pennsylvania Ave., Walkersville.

Read other articles by Pastor Phil Beck