(8/2022) This is the second installment on the influence of "context" on our health. What is the "context" of our health. It is nothing less than all of our relationships with everything in the world.

The title of this article comes from the idea that everything we do now, should honor the ancestors and serve the future generations.

Someone once told me, "If you think you are enlightened, spend a week with your family."

Clearly, this points to what many of us know, family can be… well… family.

These are the people who brought us into this world. The people who cared for us. That raised us. Wiped our bottoms. Taught us how to be in the world. Who prepared us for adulthood to one degree or another. With our siblings we adventured together, teased, used toys without asking, borrowed clothes from, played together, and maybe even kept secrets for.

There are numerous industries designed to address the effects of these upbringings.

Therapies and modalities abound. I am not here to write talk about that.

Also, I am not here to look at family from the oft used angle of "I am a victim" of my family relationships. This article is about how to be a better family member, right now, from all angles. This month’s article will offer some practical tools for us to use when our relatives don’t show up as we want them to.

Please remember, I am not a therapist. I sometimes ask questions about emotionally charged topics in people’s lives because according to TCM, emotions are the root cause of 90-95% of all illness both physical and emotional.

Since I am an acupuncturist, my work involves observing the movement of Qi ("chee"), the vital energy of nature and hence our bodies. Modern science tells us that everything is made of energy, even the most rock solid things in our world. All things in our world are simply various densities of energy. Cool thing about energy is that it can change more easily than the seemingly rock solid things. So if we shift our energy/Qi we can eventually, sometimes immediately, shift our health.

Another way of looking at emotions is that emotions are energy in motion… e (energy/Qi) + motion (motion). Too simple? Maybe. And when we get riled up about stuff, we can waste a lot of Qi we could be using to balance and harmonize our body’s systems and therefore have better health.

There are many idioms in the English language which are examples of energy affecting our body. Examples include: a knot in my stomach, a lump in my throat, all choked up, butterflies in my stomach, green with envy, seeing red, feeling blue, tickled pink, makes my blood boil, had it up to here, walking on air, hanging your head, shaking like a leaf, cold blooded, spaced out, feeling out of sorts, my heart sank, shaken to my core… and many more.

Emotions having an effect on our body and mind are embedded in our language and culture. Realizing repeated exposure to negative emotions can lead to certain kinds of illness, we can begin to have different conversations not only about cause, but also healing and prevention.

I recently helped a 34-year-old patient who experienced pain on the side of their right leg just below the hip. My patient’s family travels to their sister’s house to have a "family" vacation. They dread going to the sister’s house because she has continuously bullied my patient as long as they can remember. The bullying took the form of ridicule and domination through insults, name-calling, and questioning my patient’s intelligence and abilities.

My patient has even noted that the sister’s children exhibit similar domineering behavior to my patient’s children. When my patient tells their sister about this behavior, the sister says things such as "It’s just children being children, you’re overreacting, my children would never to do that, they are angels…."

As I said, I am not a therapist. I am not here to fix any problems. I observe the movement of Qi in my patients’ bodies. I help them balance and harmonize their Qi using acupuncture needles as well as offering mindfulness tools to be more peaceful in the world. These tools can empower my patients and create emotional freedom, thereby reducing "stress" and increasing the body’s ability to heal itself.

To my patient I offered this perspective.

Me - "All of your sister’s speaking and behavior is a reflection of her suffering, and actually has nothing to do with you."

Patient - "Really? Great, what do I do with that?"

Me - "Since the speaking is not about you, it isn’t personal. It is only personal if you make it personal. Is what your sister says true?

Patient - "No."

Me - "So let go of the story that your sister’s speaking is true. Get off the field with her. It takes two to play that game. If you don’t react to her, she won’t get whatever emotional charge she has been getting from you. She may press harder to try to get you to continue to play the old game and if she does… leave the room. Stay off the field long enough, she will give up."

Easier said than done? Maybe.

I simply asked my patient to do nothing except shift their story about the relationship with their sister. I asked my patient to have faith in what they believed to be true about themself. I asked my patient to shift a lifetime of belief. This is no small ask. It is huge. When we have faith in ourself, we can change the way the world interacts with us.

After my patient’s vacation, they reported their sister never once tried to provoke or demean them. And my patient’s niece and nephew got along wonderfully with their children. Coincidence? I like to believe it was due to my patient’s faith in themself. Also, I attribute this to my patient’s new story about their sister’s speaking and behavior.

Are the results always so quick? No. And sometimes they are.

Science has shown time and time again, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Science has proven that our hearts emit an electromagnetic field. This field has an effect on those that enter it. If we are upset, those in the field will be more likely to be agitated. If we are peaceful, those in the field will more likely be calmer.

Have you ever walked into a room and felt something was amiss? Have you noticed how your presence has shifted the energy in a room?

My patient changed their story, their perception that the sister was a problem. The result of this shift was the sister showed up differently. She didn’t show up in the world in the old problematic way. This is the potential power of our beliefs and the stories we create based on those beliefs.

How does this benefit my patient? The "energy in motion" of fear and resentment no longer affect their body in the same way and they have more Qi to use for their healing. The pain in their right leg went away. And, my patient noticed the pain only reappears when she is angry. The cause of the pain is emotional, not physical. Hmmm. Her sister was the pain in her leg. I find this fascinating.

Who is the pain in your leg? Neck? Butt? Who is your headache? Who is your shoulder pain? Who is your upset stomach?

Jefferson Breland is a board-certified acupuncturist licensed in Pennsylvania and Maryland with offices in Gettysburg and Towson. If you would like to know more about how Jefferson helps people please call him at 410-336-5876, email him at jeffersonacupuncture@gmail.com, or visit his website www.jeffersonbrelandacupuncture.org.