Mary Angel

(12/2024) I absolutely love traditions. I talk about them all the time. Whether I’m describing our family staycaytion favorites, black Friday shopping, or Christmas craft day, everyone knows I love traditions. I have come to a tradition’s crossroads, and I have to learn to let go. The question in my mind is, "Will I survive?"

I know you are thinking, "how dramatic", but that is how much I love my traditions. This year we celebrated our 10th and final anniversary of the family staycation. The kids, 3 of which are in their twenties, have aged out of family staycation. It would probably be more accurate to say they are working and too busy for staycation. This was an amazing staycation, but a little bittersweet knowing that it would be our last.

As much as I understand that most of my family has jobs and it can be difficult to schedule any time when we can all get off work, I still struggled with this being the end. That is why I decided it was time to pivot and start a new tradition. The idea I cam up with was to schedule day trips through out the year and let the kids know ahead of time. If they choose to use vacation, they are welcome to come along, but if not, that is alright as well.

As much as I love my traditions, I had to accept the fact that some of them will have to change as life happens. How many of us when we got married had to adjust how we did Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter dinner. You suddenly had two families you had to accommodate. This is all part of life. This year it just seems I have a lot more adjusting to do.

Besides staycation, my oldest daughter is in a serious relationship, and she informed us that she would be leaving at some point on Thanksgiving and Christmas to spend time at her boyfriend’s house. My initial reaction was one of utter surprise, but when I thought about it, it made total sense. Another change I had to face this year was that one of the busiest days of the year for that same daughter is Black Friday. This is not because she works retail, but because she works for an oral surgeon and this is an extremely busy day for wisdom teeth extractions, because the kids have off school Friday.

This of course brings me to my annual kid’s craft day. For years I have made craft stations for my kids and their friends to make holiday gifts and ornaments. This began because I wanted the parents to have a Christmas shopping/date day, but ended up being something my kids and their friends would ask for every year. As challenging as it was to come up with new crafts each year, I loved it! We would play a Christmas movie or two, bake cookies, and craft for hours.

Gradually each of my kids has outgrown this tradition. I actually thought it was a thing of the past last year, but my youngest had a new friend who had never experienced our craft day. They had a blast, but I learned pretty quick that I didn’t need to put too much effort into variety. They made a couple of the melting beads and then went straight to painting and never looked back. As much fun as I had researching and coming up with new craft stations each year, my daughter reminded me that all I needed was a few items for each of them to paint and they would be happy.

Christmas is right around the corner, and I know my traditions are for the most part a thing of the past. Every year we would decorate the tree, as a family, on Black Friday. This year, as I have said, my oldest daughter has to work, and most likely so will my oldest son.

So, we are postponing the tree decorating until the weekend. This change isn’t a big deal, I just hope they can all set aside time to do it together. The days of going to Toys r’ Us after the kids are in bed and waiting for the store to open at 2am on Black Friday is one tradition I don’t miss. I will, however, miss the sheer joy on Christmas morning when they opened those presents and could not contain the smiles and laughter. They are still very grateful, but the childhood surprise and anticipation aren’t the same.

My kids are to the age where they give me very short lists. They no longer look through every toy catalog that comes in the mail and dog-ear pages and break out magic markers to circle something on every other page. Now the lists are short, expensive, and at least a portion can be fund on TicTok. I have to get very creative with my gifts. I cannot stand to get only what is on the list, actually all year long I listen for "that’s cool" or "I wouldn’t mind having that" or "that cooks" (which is apparently a good thing).

My newest tradition is trying to make up a basket, for each child, of things they didn’t necessarily have on their list, but I think they would like. I also try to theme the basket. Sometimes that may mean a topical theme, like animals, flavors, or electronics. Sometimes I make the basket color themed when I can’t come up with a topical one. This year both my girls are into books, so I can think of a bunch of fun stuff for a book basket, and my oldest has always loved movies, so done and dusted there. My second son, well, I have no clue, but I will.

When it comes to my traditions, I just need to remind myself to be flexible. Sometimes I get so caught up in the tradition, I lose sight of living in the moment and I miss the joy. Only when I am flexible and enjoying the ride and time with my family do I get the most out of a tradition. Changing staycation to once a month, or once every other month, doesn’t change the fun and family memories we are making. Changing the Christmas craft day to only include melting beads and painting, only means less work for me, and just as much fun for them (we will still bake cookies and watch a movie, of course).

These are all just minor changes, and with each change to a tradition we have the opportunity to start new ones. Each of our traditions has had a beginning and an ending and led to amazing new experiences and memories. I hope your family traditions are a blessing, but remember changing them can be even better!

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